Why I chose to keep writing my original story: I chose to continue writing this story because of many reasons. I really love writing this story and I love figuring out how I want the characters to interact and trying to build their backstories has been really exciting for me. I have also never done drafts on a short story before. Usually whenever I have written a story in the past its been a one and done situation. I would sit down and write the whole thing and then turn it in. I would never even edit it, maybe only read it through once. But now I realize how much of the process I missed out on as well as how much fun the process actually is. When I was younger I really hated having to read over something I wrote more than once so I would always make it the best I possibly could in one sitting which usually got me by. Having to go through the process for this class has really opened my eyes to how fun it would be to rethink your own story. Nothing is perfect when it comes out of your head in one section. I’m also enjoying writing this story because I’ve been using it as a sort of release and I can see myself in both of these characters. I feel like they are the two different sides of me being shown as two different people and I really enjoy writing about it this way.
Short Story #1 Edited Draft:
Falling. Falling down a space that my brain can’t decipher between a small tunnel or a deep chasm. I try to scream but my body restricts me in preparation for the catastrophic landing that will happen soon. There was nothing but darkness after my torch had fizzled out from me carelessly waving it around in awe of the cave I was so innocently exploring. My hand had lost its grip on the torch as I tripped into the hole I’m falling endlessly through.
It’s now getting increasingly humid as I plummet to who knows where. Maybe I’m finally nearing my death I had predicted at the start of this fall? It continues to grow harder to breathe, feeling more like a hot steamer blowing up my nostrils. I splash, head first, into warm water. My brain struggles to try and find a possible solution to why I am not dead and why there was no signage of a dangerous entrance to a hot spring in this cave.
Most of the area surrounding me is still quite dark and seemingly endless. My eyes are trying their best to adjust to the extremely dim environment around me. As I was looking around I noticed an oil lamp not far off the shore of where I plunged into the spring. I quickly swam over to it. Like a moth to a flame I clung to the only light source in the room, having the light in my possession gave me a sense of safety. I picked the lamp up from off its post and stood there for a second in my dripping wet clothes. It’s freezing once you’re out of the water and since it’s so humid in this part of the cave there’s no way I’m going to get dry soon. As I looked down at my feet to examine my soaked sneakers I noticed footprints just a bit larger than mine. I put my foot next to them cautiously to make sure neither my eyes or my mind were playing tricks on me. “Nope, those are definitely not mine.” My eyes follow them and their trail leads far past the reach of the lamp.
Following the new tracks I’ve just found my anxiety heightens to a 10. I’m not sure if these footprints are new or old, and even worse I have no idea if the person is here in the cave with me or not. If they are, how would I get away? Would I actually die down here? Suddenly the prints have led me to a fork in the road, but they only go left. I don’t know why I am trusting these footprints but I make the turn and can immediately see a person already headed my way. They’re a lot taller than me with curly hair, they also have a dog beside them, it seems like they’re talking to the dog. The dog barks and I freeze. It saw me, and it barked. The person’s head shoots up to look in the direction of the bark and I sprint back the way I came.
The footsteps of this person sounded as if they were sprinting away from a disaster. As I rounded the corner I fell to the ground, how could I slip at a time like this? My lamp had gone out as soon as it hit the floor. I slammed my eyes shut and covered my ears in fear preparing for the worst when I felt a gust of air pass around my body. My eyes burst open to a person around my age, 16 or 17, holding what seems to be the same kind of oil lamp that I had in their right hand. They were waving wildly at me with their left and had a huge smile on their face. I look at them in shock with underlying horror. They softened their smile and lent me a hand so I could get up. My heart rate is steadily increasing but my body refuses to move.
Before I could even utter a word they yanked me back in the direction they came from. Now I am scared all over again because we are running into the darkness with just a small oil lamp that produces enough light to just see the floor right beneath us as we run. The ground is mostly dirt with some pebbles here and there. There’s no way of knowing if this is a path other than the fact the person holding my hand is very confident in the direction they are leading me. In the small amount of light we have I can examine what this person dragging me along looks like, at least from the back. Their hair is curly and extremely bouncy as we run along. They are also wearing a white pirate looking blouse covered in dirt marks with a vest over it and some pants that have been tied up to be shorts. This person seems like they might have been down here a long time given the disheveledness of their clothes, I can only imagine what I look like right now.
After taking a sharp left turn we could no longer see my original entrance point and we slowed to a gentle pace as a new landmark came into view. The mysterious person tightens their grip on my hand just enough to convey their obvious excitement. Although I may not know this person who seemingly rescued me I can most definitely feel the change in their emotion and body language as we approach what looks to be a little makeshift clubhouse or fort. As they continue to lead me towards this underground encampment, I can see there is a small dog wagging its tail awaiting our arrival.
“Hi Sweet Pea! I brought a friend!” The stranger finally spoke! Their voice was like soft, smooth, buttery caramel. A smile arose on both our faces as we ran towards Sweet Pea. “Sweet Pea this is my new friend, I just found them in the pool! You remember the splash I went to investigate? Well this was it!” I pat the dogs’ head as my self appointed new friend introduces me. “My name is Sunny,” the stranger says, “Who are you?” “I’m Q. I should probably thank you for saving me, I kinda just fell down a hole as I was exploring a cave and now I have no clue what’s even happening.” I try to convey the fact that this situation is extremely odd. The absurdity hit me once again as I realized this is the first time Sunny has spoken to me. Once again questions and anxiety flush through my body and I realize that I had completely tuned Sunny out. “… I can see you had a little panic time so I can start again,” they say with a small chuckle “I’ve been coming down here for a few weeks now since I found the place! I was able to get my art supplies and other stuff down here and have been using it mainly as a quiet space. I’ve been trying to make it as home-y as possible but you can only do so much in a fort underground.” Sunny turned from a smile to a blank stare seeming to process what they had just told a complete stranger, “Sorry that probably sounds weird coming from someone you just met, but oh well I’ve already over-shared” “A little weird, but not as weird as finding someone deep in a cave that I’ve never been in before!” I try to lighten up the mood a little because Sunny’s mood definitely took a turn. Sunny picks up Sweet Pea and ushers me to take a look around the fort they made.
As I walk through the curtain door made of old quilts Sunny’s parents had probably thrown away, I see where the creativeness explodes. Although just outside of this fort is dirt and cold cave walls, this little room absolutely serves as a paradise. There are pillows to sit on, small tables low to the ground, fake flowers in a vase, various drawings Sunny drew (some even with a dog print signature from Sweet Pea), as well as photos Sunny had taken with a disposable camera. There were party ribbons decorating the ceiling around the center lamp hanging from the middle. The energy encased in this one room felt like a real life oasis. But why would they build this deep in a cave? I sat on one of the many pillows strewn throughout the room to really start to take in the space. Sunny looks to be around the same age as me, so why did they say they’ve been coming here the past couple weeks? School had only started 3 weeks ago and I’ve already done loads of homework. I don’t see any photos of anyone other than Sunny and Sweet Pea. There has to be some in here somewhere right? I get up once more and start looking for any sign of a family or some friends that Sunny may have. Maybe I’ve met them before and just didn’t get the chance to meet Sunny before.
